We can use other people as mirrors in our lives, and this can be a wonderful way to understand ourselves better and to grow. But we can also then fall into the trap of thinking that everything is about us, when it’s really not. We can start to see other people’s issues or dysfunction as a personal statement about us, even when it has absolutely nothing to do with us.
We need a balance of recognizing when there actually is a learning or growth opportunity for us, and when there isn’t. It’s important for our health and wellbeing that we don’t confuse those two things. As I like to say, sometimes shit is just shit. Sometimes stuff happens that has no growth opportunity for us. It just is. It’s better for us and especially for our relationships if we can learn to recognize the difference.