I always wondered – and agonized – over why I couldn’t seem to accomplish as much as the people around me. They seemed to be able to do their everyday life activities with a measure of ease that I’ve never had: cleaning, buying groceries, doing errands, fixing the house. The things that took me forever and caused me such agony – they could do them faster and maybe even enjoyably. 

It’s not always the best idea to compare ourselves to others – comparisons can set up some unhealthy mechanisms inside of us.  In this case, though, those comparisons were helpful, and they led me to a greater understanding of myself – to a realization.

The realization is that it takes energy to move energy. And I move a LOT of energy in a day. The physical, task-oriented stuff of my daily life takes me way longer than most because my energy is always occupied with other tasks – the emotional, mental, spiritual and energetic aspects of life. I am constantly working to observe and process my emotions, to remap the contours of my mental landscape, to align with my spiritual self and understandings, and to explore and manage the invisible, energetic aspects of people, planet and cosmos that interact with me in every moment. 

And whew, that’s a shitload of work!

No wonder I don’t have the energy to clean my house or cut the lawn!

Because it takes energy to do all of those things.  

That’s probably why I love fasting so much, because it also takes energy to process food and water in our bodies.  At least food gives us energy in return, but water – water only takes. There are no calories exchanged. I finally understand why my body just refuses to want water on days where I’m doing heavy emotional processing.

We only have twenty-four hours in our day, and we only have so much energy. So if we’re going through emotionally heavy stuff, it makes sense that our energy expenditure is so high, we don’t have any left to put into household chores let alone new stuff that requires so much of us – looking for a new job, figuring out our health, moving, changing relationships, doing research, going green, etc etc. 

We tend to under-value the amount of personal effort (energy) that it requires to do emotional, mental, spiritual or energetic work. In our society, we tend to quantify and value only physical work, or more accurately, the products or end results of physical work. The process itself – we don’t put much value on that either.  And we definitely do not value our emotional, mental, spiritual or energetic process, even though it requires a great deal of energy from us just to survive, let alone thrive.   

I’m reminded of all the times when I was exhausted at the end of the day even though I hadn’t been very productive – I’d done “nothing”.  Except I hadn’t done nothing. I was always working on all these other non-physical levels.  The significant amount of personal energy that it takes to work through our emotional wounds, traumas, mental biases, prejudices, to retrain ourselves – all of this takes enormous effort. Whether it’s emotional, mental – everything is energy, so in essence, it’s all energy work.  

How many days off do we get for the death of a close family member? Three days? Yet the significant and impacting stages of grief can last decades.  We’ve all experienced some level of trauma in our lives, yet how much time or support do we get to process it? The stress and anxiety of our technological age lends us no extra time or space to process – in fact, it lends us less than ever before.  We are expected to put in that energy in addition to what we already put in after a 40-hour or 50-hour work week. And let’s not even get started on the resources that it requires to have assistance in working through this. We’re simply talking personal energy expenditure.

And so in order to survive or thrive on the physical end of the spectrum, we sacrifice our emotional, mental, spiritual or energetic well-being.  Proverbially, we borrow from Paul to pay Peter, not thinking that someday we’re gonna have to pay Paul back, and it may not be pretty by the time he comes calling for it. If you’re not catching my drift here – that’s when we have a breakdown – an emotional, mental or spiritual crisis of some kind that demands our energy to the point where we can no longer deny or refuse it.  More and more of us are having those breakdowns. It’s our bodies’ way of saying “give me time (energy)”.

A Shift in Priorities

I believe the global “shift” us energy workers have been waiting for and talking about for decades is going to be a shift in our priorities more than anything else. As our consciousness rises, so too does our conscious awareness of our needs as human beings. What we value will shift in kind, to accommodate what we need to be healthy and to thrive.  Before that happens on a global scale – and in order for that to happen on a global scale – we need to implement that shift in our own daily lives, in our rituals and routines, and more importantly, in how we view ourselves and our own process. What do we want to value?

We’re being called to re-evaluate what we consider to be “work”.

If a healthy and balanced individual raises healthy and balanced kids – isn’t that a valuable resource? If they do that by doing their own personal, inner work – isn’t that just as important as designing buildings and filling out paperwork?

By doing my own personal work, I can help others do theirs.  In turn, these balanced individuals go out into the world creating and building healthy relationships with the people around them. Healthy relationships = healthy communities = healthy societies = healthy nations and governments = healthy world.  What could be more important than that?

So my lawn doesn’t get cut religiously, and there’s enough dog fur in my kitchen that I could make a whole other dog. Who cares? My personal work is creating a better world, and to me, there is no better or more valuable work to do.

~Heidi <3