Every unhealthy pattern is driven by an unaddressed human need. We might want comfort, connection, a feeling of safety or belonging, self-determination or autonomy. 

We might use substances or behaviours as a path to try to achieve what we want / need or as a way to escape / avoid. Avoidance of emotional pain is just a surface response – a trauma response to an underlying unmet need.

Most of our unmet needs revolve around acceptance, and its counterpart, the fear of rejection, unconsciously drives our decision-making.

The key is to make those unconscious drives conscious. When you ask yourself a question or reflect upon your innermost needs, that’s what you’re doing.

That level of inner acknowledgement is an essential part of our healing and recovery process.