If we can’t express something verbally, we will express it through action. Poor or negative behaviours speak the loudest, don’t they? But how many times do we stop to listen to the message?

We punish, criticize, blame and avoid those behaviours without ever trying to understand the pain, grief or unmet need that is trying to be expressed. We, as a society, allow no room for our pain or needs to be expressed normally, and then punish those who resort to “abnormal” behaviour as a last resort.

When I badly want a drink, I pause to look at what my underlying need or message is. It’s usually along the lines of “I’m feeling overwhelmed in my life and need help.” When I feel that I don’t have anyone to say that to, my pattern or go-to is to turn to booze.

We all have a go-to behaviour. And we all have a reason for it. Once we understand the underlying need that we’re trying to express through that behaviour, we can find better ways to both express it and address it.

Take a moment to reflect on the message you’re trying to express through a behaviour.

Invite someone in your life to explore that safely (without judgment) too.

~Heidi 💚